Discovering Active Listening and Empathic Hearing; Listening for emotion in voices, watching body languages are all part of listening skills that talking therapists are trained for.
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and to be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.
Most people tend to be “hard of listening” rather than “hard of hearing.”
Hearing is more than the simple act of perceiving sound by the ear.
Does hearing simply happen?
Listening, however, is something you consciously choose to do. Listening requires concentration so that your brain processes meaning from words and sentences.
When it comes to the similarities between listening and hearing, it is not just that you use your ears for both.
How to to improve your active listening and empathic hearing skills.
“Here’s what I think I’ve just heard you say…”
“Tell me have I heard you accurately?.”
“Let me check out my understanding of what you have just said…..”
“I can hear in your voice that you feel angry/anxious/frightened?”
To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt with practice. You gain more respect and high esteem when you listen rather than when talking.
The mind functions seven times more quickly than it is possible to speak. Therefore the mind needs to be slowed down and focused on what the person is saying, and not by being distracted by other irrelevant thoughts.
This is Truely listening.
Within the therapeutic alliance, I place a great importance on my ability to listen and more importantly, my ability to hear empathically.
There is a critical difference from a patients perspective to being listened to and being heard and the ability to move between one and the other is what makes for a good helpful relationship that can facilitate growth and change.
We can often hear anger, anxiety and fear within a voice. Escalating tension as they disclose their problems. A lack of resolution as they “dump” on us. Witnessing their angst as they want us to “get rid” of the problem. If only I could make their problem go away then their lives would be so much better.
Offering empathy to their fears and anxieties the patients feel heard and understood on all levels.
Do you agree?
Please feel free to join this conversation….I am Listening.
